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That Familiar Conviction

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27 Jun

Virtual high-five to all my teacher friends out there. We made it!

This year was one for the record books. And it culminated with the whirlwind, that was that past two weeks.

My school is undergoing a major Capital Improvement Project and it required me to move out of my classroom. The funny thing is, I don’t feel like I ever really officially moved IN to the my classroom. Rewind 16 years ago, when I first started teaching, and there was also a construction project underway! The irony! I was only able to access my room 2 DAYS before school started. A first-year teacher’s worst nightmare. The teacher that had been in the room before me had been there for 35 years! To my surprise and delight that cabinets were stocked neatly with supplies. But upon further examination, I discovered that many of the supplies dated back to the turn of the century. I learned that day that I would never ever run out of crayons….EVER. I also learned that the practice of writing “I will not talk during class” 100 times on a piece of paper was not something you only saw in the movies.

During my confusion and terror, I pushed lots of things to the back of the cabinets and proceeded to neatly organize my new supplies in front. Surprisingly, I was able to maintain this practice until two weeks ago.

The dumpsters arrived….it was go time. I can’t tell you the amount of people who said “It must feel great to purge.” I smiled to hide the tears. I hate purging. Because who knows, I may need that some day.

I really didn’t think I would get it done. The only reason I did, was because the custodians lied to me. They told me the room needed to be done 5 days before the actual day. I can’t decided if I am annoyed, or just impressed with how well they know me.

Either way, I lived to tell. Now, summer. 10 weeks laid out in front of me.

I feel like I have spent a lot of this year on a deadline. Playing perpetual “catch up.” So, my only goal over the next few weeks, is to let all of that go. I don’t want to be in a rush. I don’t want to make plans.

I want to be really present with my kids. I want to talk to them. I want to take adventures with them. I want to tend to my garden. I want to walk in the woods. I want to swim in lakes. I want to smell the ocean. I want to make really delicious meals. I want to go antiquing with my mom. I want to sip my coffee slowly.

I want that familiar conviction that life is beginning over again with the summer.

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